I need a weekend wagon

Seriously. I did well all week even with going back to work. I did not eat the breakfasts (bagels and such) or lunches provided. I packed and only ate mine. On Friday I did take a little fruit but that was only a point so I figured I would enjoy it.

Last night I had a little more than I should have but my points came out on target. It is okay to have a little fun right. Today I ate out twice. Once with my mom (Chicken salad on Kaiser with chips) then with my husband (potato skins, burger, and fries). Message to the husband: STOP suggesting crap since I will not turn it down. I need to learn to control my weekends better. Now I need to go log that meal as well as the full fat huge caramel latte. Back on the horse tomorrow...Wonder what my WI will look like on Monday.

I can tell you that I had about 2 or 3 stressful events this week. One was in my personal life and the others were at work. I did not deal with them by eating. I just dealt with them. At work I did what I needed to do and at home I just made a decision and stuck to it. Really I have to treat food like smoking...Eating will not make the stress better or make it go away. It will only make me feel better for a few minutes just like smoking did. I can tell you that even after almost 3 years there are still days when I want to.

Help me find my wagon

Seriously, I fell off... This seems to be a recurring theme on the weekends. I need to figure out how to deal with my husband, I mean my weekends better. Really part of it is him. After getting the baby's once year pictures on Friday night we walked the mall. WHen we got toward Dairy Queen he says we deserve a dessert treat. I got a small Orange Julius for 3 points but I was still way over. Sunday we went to breakfast at Bob Evans with my parents. The weekends are just so unstructured and have entirely too many tempations. I might just have to stay home.

Yesterday I had a headache and the lazys so I finished off the ice cream and caramel that we had here. I think throwing it away would have been a better option. I ate pita and hummus again in an attempt to get rid of it.

Today I am renewed and out looking for my wagon. I am climbing back on. I plan on going to the grocery store today and will get some veggies and such. I go back to work on Tuesday so that will help with some routine.

No Whey

I have done well that past few days. I have eaten all of my points but I have not gone over. I have a few weekly allowance left but I am saving them for the weekend. It is only about 4.5 so it won't help too much but I really need that cushion.

I need to get back to posting my food journal even if I don't get a blog post written. I have gone straight to organizing after the baby goes to bed. All of my scrapbook stuff is organized. I need to label the bins today and then I am done. I might even try to start her scrapbook. SHe is one so I am only a little behind.

I think I mentioned being tired of eggs. I bought The Biggest Loser whey protein in vanilla flavor. I have been blending it with frozen strawberries, frozen blueberries, a couple slices of frozen banana, some splenda, and a little fat free half and half and water. Not too bad but as I found when I tried slimfast. I like to eat breakfast and not drink it. I'm probably going to buy eggs and english muffins again soon and alternate until the whey protein is gone. I might also try cottage cheese and fruit to change it up. Something that might help is getting up early enough to get both of us ready and eat breakfast not in a rush. That is hard since it will mean getting up at 5am once I go back to work. How to people do it? Ugh.

We start next week practicing getting up early. I go back to work Aug 25. Not looking forward to it. The remainder of this week is working on staying on points and cooking dinner every night. Next week is getting up by 6am and exercising daily. I am adding one thing a week. 80% or more success is my goal for each of my objectives. This is not all this week but this is where I am headed:
* Stay on points 90% of the time.
* Exercise 5 days a week. That would be about 60% for 20 out of 30 days.
* Get up on time 80% of the time.
* Pick up the house every evening at least 80% of the time.
* Clean house weekly
* Write out lesson plans for classroom

As I move into the weekend, I want to ask that everyone keep one of my students in their thoughts and prayers. She is back in the hospital with shunt problems. Her parents are faced with a couple possibilities, one being to make her comfortable. Her mom is ready for that option but her father is not. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for her parents. This young lady is 14 and has surpassed any expectations of her doctors. She was not expected to live this long and thrive as she has. She is a delightful young lady but does not have a good quality of life right now since she is in pain. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts or prayers.

I thought WRONG

We went to get the baby shoes this evening. Pictures to come later. Dinner was at Don Pablo's. Problem with taking her anywhere is that I need to get her something to eat. Usually I give her from my plate since she really cannot eat a whole kids meal. This evening I decided to be smart and get her a kids meal and I would give her the fries and I would split the entree with her. I also got myself a small salad. Not a bad idea huh. WRONG! The chicken quesadilla (which she really did enjoy part of) was a half of a regular one so 15 points. The dressing they have is regular unless you like light french (yuck!) so there is another whopping 10 points. My husband felt like he should share his dinner with me since I was only have a salad and her small half a quesadilla so he gave me his taco from the his pick 3 sooooo add 7 there. Then on the way out of the mall he says we have to get dessert at the only place in the eatery that sells sweets, the ice cream place. I am picky and only like vanilla soft serve. Add at least 4. All together that is about 36 points. That would be more than I am allowed in a day. Weekly allowance you say...HMMMMMMM...I used 12.5 yesterday and another 18 today. My week starts on Monday.

That's what they are there for you say. Yes true but not to use them on the first 2 days. Now I have no wiggle room for the rest of the week.

Ready here comes the silver lining and my pat on the back so I can smile and move forward. In the past I would be angry with myself. I would not track these days. I would even go as far as resetting my WI day to tomorrow and starting over with my week beginning on Wednesday. But guess what? I'm not gonna. I tracked (good girl), I owned it (good job putting the big girl pants on), I will cook at home and eat well the rest of the week since all is not lost. Another big pat on the back is that I got all my floors scrubbed and cleaned today and my house is really starting to shape up.

Tomorrow is grocery day so I am looking into getting some whey protein and berries so I can have a protein smoothie in the morning. I am looking for easy to make and eat on the go thigns for when I start work again on August 25. I used to hard boil eggs and have an egg on an english muffin. I am getting tired of that and thought about cereal but I can't eat that on the go so I will try a little shake. I will let you know how I like it. First day will be on Thursday.

I Fell

OFF THE WAGON but... Oh Well.

I can't dwell on the mistake of the weekend. I can say that there is no food log for Saturday, Sunday or Monday. I started out Monday pretty good but between the dentist and not getting anything done in the house I wound up eating a bit more than I should have. I ate 2 WW ice Creams and hummus and pita chips. Not too too bad but not great.

Ok now that is over...time to move on. I can say that I made a great choice on Sunday. I needed to get my grandmom's and parent's newspaper since they were out of town. I walked to my grandmom's and back and then to my parents. Granted my grandmom is only about a half a mile away and my parents are about 2 houses away. I would typically drive. The thing is I live in the country. I am talking walk on the white line and no shoulder kid of country. I asked my husband if I should take the baby but we decided no since it would not be safe. WHen she went for her nap, off I went. Great decision.

Today I was going to stop and get a latte after the dentist. Not too bad unless you are like my and only like full fat caramel latte. I seem to have no self control and I order the large. I told myself that this would only be my treat on grocery day. That would be Wednesday and not today. I decided that I would forego the latte and only have it on my shopping day. Good decision number 2.

Finally, I spent about an hour making a very pretty house cleaning checklist. I have read on fly lady and other various websites about homemanagement notebooks. I have always tried to make one. Problem, I am a perfectionist. I could have spent that hour cleaning and been done. I realized when I was in the shower that I have routines and there really is no need to make a cleaning list to go in a binder. Meal plan on Tuesday, grocery on Wednesday, Clean on Saturday, wash towels every 3 days, and do laundry when I need. Cook and clean up kitchen daily. So tomorrow my plan is to clean the house and not spend time organizing and planning how to clean the house. Lesson learned when the light bulb came on.

Salad not ALWAYS the Healthy Choice

So this is something that I know but...

I had another dentist appointment today for just a cleaning. I was still a little sore from yesterday's root canal. I have to have 3 wisdom teeth pulled so they asked if I wanted to do that on Monday and prepare my tooth for the crown today. Sure I said...Wrong...I was still so tender that when they started in on the tooth I was cringing. I am still sore but no where near as bad as yesterday.

My husband and I were supposed to go to the mall and dinner to get the baby her first pair of shoes. I am looking for a helpful shoe store to help find a pair that fits correctly. He had to work late (that is the story of his life). I have finally accepted that this will happen and I need to just have an alternate plan. I used to get bant out of shape but there is only room for one person to be gloomy so I decided to leave that to him. I am accepting what I can't change and that is his work and such. If he was home we would have done the mall, if not then I do other errands by myself.

Meredith and I went to run errands like getting containers to organize, going to BJ's, and Target. We debated all the way there where to eat dinner (well as much as a 1 year old can contribute). I decided on Ruby Tuesday since it is in the Target parking lot, not usually crowded, and has a salad bar... OOOOPPPPPPSSS, can't leave baby to go the salad bar. I ordered minis and fries for her so she would have fries and a club house salad for me. (Note to self--READ the whole description) It had baked chicken, bacon, tomatoes, and cheese. Had I thought about it, I would have said no tomato and no bacon. I could have taken some of the cheese off. As it were I mixed it all together and ate about 3/4 of it. I ate half of Meredith's minis but only about 2 of her fries.

One of the bad things about having a 1 year old is that you have to order her something but she does not eat it. I usually get myself a pasta dish and give her some of the noodles. Sometimes I do a burger and she gets some fries. She only gets fries when we are out. The nice thing is that I don't have to cart a bunch of food with me anymore. I can order her a little something. Next time I think I will get her and the minis and a side salad to share.

Root Canals, hobbies, and no counting

I did not count today. That was the least of my worries. I had a root canal this morning. I went into it thinking it was not bad, just a long process but like a filling. UHHH nope. The file broke in the curve of the root. They could not get it out. That's ok though since they were almost done and there was no infection. They irrigated really well with bleach and sealed me up. So now I have a piece of little tiny file in my tooth. Not to mention the place where they put that stupid thing on my tooth to keep it all dry hurts. It is generally just sore. I expected a little sore but not this sore. Yuck. I also I ate soup for lunch and not a great dinner but I was probably within points. I also had a nice bowl of peaches.

I also broke out my old hobby. My mom is going to a wedding for a cousin this weekend. She wanted my to make this for her. I have not done any quilling in about 2 years. I mean I have a baby and other hobbies. It takes awhile and I have trouble finding frames. I could frame them without glass but they get dirty and yucky that way. Oddly enough I have made these for a few wedding and a few babies but I have none for myself. Oh well. I enjoyed it and it has spurred me to get my hobby room in order.

This is a close up of one side. The bride can put her own picture in after the wedding.

I Binged

On fruit. I ate 3 bananas and a cup of frozen blueberries. Seriously this is what I call a binge. Hubby was supposed to work and be gone today and tonite. I had my day and evening all planned out. Smartone for dinner and working on the basement to organize. His work plans changed so I had to do the dinner thing. We wound up sharing a panini from the grocery store cafe. Now he has motorcycle racing on and I despise it so I am not working on the basement. UGH.... I was feeling a bit out of it and overwhelmed so I ate what I saw. That happened to be the 3 bananas on the counter.

Otherwise I did pretty good despite not making my own food. All of it was brought in. I know WW says you should eat all of your points. I am still a point range kinda girl. Right now I need to eat on the lower end which would be eating just my points or a few less. No weekly allowance. Well I used them today. I did realize this evening though that I will likely not have lunch tomorrow. I get a root canal at 10am so I will be numb and not so into eating at lunch time. I will make sure dinner is ready at 5 and just have that. I can have a soft yogure type snack in the afternoon if I need to.

Anyway...I was not nearly as productive as I wished today but I am getting there. I feel a bit better since I am finally doing something. I tried to take a picture of myself today and I cannot even stand it. I look miserable in pictures. I barely have any with my daughter. I look fat or sweaty. That is a whole nother problem. I sweat blowdrying my hair. This does not bode well for a decent hair style so I give up. I am hoping fall will help with that and I might not look like a drowned rat all the time.

Comfort Food Kinda Evening

So my husband is gone for a few days. He will be here for lunch tomorrow and then gone again. Usually when he is not here for dinner and our routine and schedule are thrown off, I eat cheese and crackers or chips and cheese or some other bad for me snack food. I overeat and make that "dinner." I mean, why not, I am all by myself, I can get back on track when our routine is back, It's just one night... See the problem.

Tonite I compromised. I had comfort food. Smartone mac and cheese, fried squash, and Tyson Chicken Fingers. My intention was to only eat half the box of chicken fingers but I ate it all minus the 2 I gave Meredith. The squash was fried yes but I only had about 10 slices and I only lightly breaded them. The Mac and Cheese was WW and only 5 points. Granted I maxed on points today but...I counted and I did not resort to total crap. I have already planned for tomorrow night so I am prepared.

I still spent a bit too much time in the chair today. I even took a nap when Meredith took one. We did take a walk but that was about it. Not a bad day as far as days go but not stellar.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can

Can I lose weight? All signs point to yes!

1. I have done this twice before with wonderful results.
2. I have a beautiful daughter who needs a healthy Mommy.

3. I can cook really tasty pretty healthy meals and I enjoy cooking.
4. I live on a street that I can walk and push my baby without worrying about traffic.

5. I have done a little planning.

As I was taking my walk today I realized that I have lost weight before when my life was more hectic and out of control. I think that actually helped since I got ubber organized to cope so here I am trying to get organized. I did realize that there is nothing holding me back but me.

As I was blow drying my hair I realized that I am wacky when it comes to exercise. If I cannot do it before my shower, I won't. I hate to sweat and I sweat just thinking about being hot. I mean buckets. I don't like to take more than 1 shower a day so I tend to not exercise if I can't fit it on before a shower. Waking up before dawn is not really an option for this non morning person. Therefore....I must learn to just exercise when I can. If this means a change of clothes or a quick shower then so be it. I might not sweat so bad when I a thinner. I also have the motivation to get more steps than my husband. Nintendo DS Personal Trainer Walking. I really want to be number 1 on that thing but he walks so much at work. When I go back to work Aug 25 I can get more steps.

Finally...I bought a Pandora bracelet. I used to have a Zopini but people bought me charms and I filled 2. None had the meaning that I wanted for achievements. I rarely wear it anymore. When I went to the jeweler today to get my watch I looked at the Pandora bracelets and used my birthday money to buy one with 3 charms. One is a little girl to remind me of why I am doing this. One is my daughter's birth month and one is mine. I have looked at the catalog and picked a few charms for milestones. My first will be when I lose my 10%. I will get another when I get my house in order and keep it that way. Another for exercising at least 5 days a week for 2-3 months. My goal weight is a charm with a heart and key just like the key chain WW gives. I am very excited about adding to my bracelet for achievements.

MIA, Lazy or Distracted

I have been MIA lately. Not only have I retreated from blogging but I have retreated from message boards as well. I felt like I was spending too much time on message boards. I was neglecting my duties at home. For the past week or so I have discovered fun games on Facebook. Farkle is so addicting. Seriously I think these things are sucking life out of people. SO now I will to avoid games on facebook or only allow myself a reasonable time.

That would be where lazy or distracted comes in. I need to clean, do schoolwork before the school year starts, diet, exercise, and organize my scrapbook stuff. I do none of it. I watch my daughter play. I don't get on the floor with her much since my tooth starts to hurt. (My root canal is Thursday so that should take care of it.) She takes at least one 2 hour nap everyday and I play on the computer. I would not call me lazy since I am not sitting on the couch like a slug but I am so distracted. I used to smoke and I would say things like if I get X done, I can smoke. Now I just don't get started.

So that brings me to my current predicament. I have topped out at 250 lbs. I am miserable. I am not taking a lot of pride in my appearance since I do not feel good. I hate to see pictures of myself and I get sweaty just changing my daughter. I try to get myself on track and I do well for a couple days. I get a little craving for something crappy and I eat it, overeat it even. I then feel totally disgusting.

Saturday was my birthday and now I figure this is a good time to recommit. New month, new "year," and new week. I am trying to get my week together and clean and get all I need to do done. I will schedule some time on for blogging and games.