Cheesin in the sand

We went out to the beach early this morning. Meredith's Daddy wanted to take a dip in the ocean and I decided it would be a nice time to introduce her to the sand and water. Neither one of us was in a bathing suit. I am not big on a dirty baby. Maybe tomorrow I will brave my suit. Meredith thought that the water was great fun to splash in. She sat in her tent and played for a bit too. We did not put on sunscreen so we only stayed out for about 10 minutes. Later we walked around Cape May and she had sunscreen all over then.

I have to say that seeing recent pictures of myself really spurs me into action. YUCK! This is not so bad since the cute baby detracts. I have done well here with the exception of my water. I am not worrying too much about that part since I don't want to run ot the potty too much. It is too hectic here.

At the Beach

I haven't posted for a couple of days. Mostly I was unpacking and dealing with a rather poopy baby. She had belly issues and I am not sure why. Either it was a little bug or the new yogurt. I stopped the yogurt for a few days to see. She is improving but I still packed at least 2 outfits for everyday here at the beach. My mom helped my unpack a couple days ago so we are moving along. Not as fast as I want but there is progress. Now I am at the beach with 2 other families in a big house for a week.

We left for the beach today. Ed and I packed last night at 11pm. Crazy huh? That is how we do it. It was fine and we only forgot a few little things. The stuff we forgot was stuff you could not pack ahead like fridge stuff. Oh well...Over priced beach grocery store here we come.

I used a few of my allowance today since we stopped at Cheeseburger in Paradise for lunch. I wanted the big burger with all the fixxings but I got 2 mini burgers with a salad. I felt like it was a great compromise and I really enjoyed it. The dressing was great. We were supposed to have pizza when we got here but instead my friend grilled flank steak. I could not be rude although it is not something I would choose to eat under different circumstances. I had a little of everything and was fine.

Overwhelmed

To say I am overwhelmed would be an understatement. We moved when I had about 2 weeks left of work. I finished out the school year with only a couple rooms in the house put together and a bunch of stuff in storage. We got the stuff out of storage the day after school ended. That was Saturday. To date most of it is still piled up in my living room. This is the first room you see when you walk in the door or when you go the potty. AHHHHHH... Between taking care of my daughter and getting other stuff done I have not gotten to unpack any of it. Every time my mother comes over she comments on it. My anxiety just continues to climb.

On a brighter note...I insisted on going through my clothes as I moved them toward where they needed to be. That way I could put them where they belonged as opposed to piling them up in space bags and crates. My mother thought I should put them in spare room and deal with them later. Well... I went through them today and I found 2 bags with clothes in my size. A couple with clothes too small but now I have shirts to wear on vacation. I called mom and said na na na na na na. Now I have a pile of clothes to go to good will. I think I will take them to the local mental institution.

So here I am typing on my blog when I should be unpacking. Hubby is going to a race track with his motorcycle tomorrow (in NJ-3 hours away). He is coming back tomorrow night. We will pack on Friday to leave for vacation (in NJ-3hours away) for a week on Saturday. My house will still be a mess when I return. Needless to say I am not a happy puppy.

Good thing is I have remained on points for 3 days straight. We ate a quick dinner on the way to my brothers this evening. I planned ahead and ate only what I planned. I was well within my points today. My daughter has diarrhea and yet I remained on points and made good food choices. I am irritated with my husband and yet I did not binge. I am totally anxious about the house but I did not eat all the crackers and cheese in the fridge. There have been a couple times when I wanted to eat but I said to myself, "You do not want to remain this weight and that food will not help." Seriously I feel like I am quitting smoking all over again.

I had a good day

Yesterday was a good day. I did not get a thing done in the house. While the baby was down for her nap I dwadled on the computer. I just cannot get motivated to unpack and shuffle boxes. I think it is because I have a sore back.

I did, however, make good food choices. I went to a friends house for dinner. Her husband had made chicken breast on the grill and pasta. I took a cup of pasta only. She offered me cookies and such for dessert but I had a banana. I also put baby in the stroller and took a walk. It was great. I had a little more energy yesterday since I was not overeating at every turn.

Well DAMN

Ok so I have not done well. I am currently up to 249 as of this morning. It just makes me want to cry. I binged last night at a friends house for her daughter's first birthday. They had little slider burgers. I ate like 5. I had about 2 and a half pieces of cake. BLAH... I did however look into onoline meetings for Overeaters anonymous today. I am not sure if I will "attend" one but it is an option to get some support and see if I really have a problem.

On the home front!
We have moved. We settled on May 27. On May 28 we had carpet removed and hardwood installed. During installation the contractors found rotting floors in one bedroom. Turns out there was a slow leak from the chimney. (No cricket was ever installed but don't ask what one is) The wall is also rotten. We are missing a few studs as well as the joist the studs sit on. This is costing us about $2775 to fix.

Meredith has been sick since we moved in. After about 4 days of sniffling, sneezing, runny eyes, snot all over, and waking at night...we went to the Doctor for allergy medicine. He took one look at her and said it looked like allergy. My theory- we moved into the woods and we were outside more often. The previous owners had a cat. The house has been vacant for a year. We tore up carpet thus dispersing massive amounts of dust. She had been playing on the floor in the sunroom where there is no AC and the windows were opened to let the pollen settle in the carpet. It was just too much on her little system. Her daddy and grandmom (my mom) both have hayfever. Poor baby...The deck was stacked against her. She is on Zyrtec now and has Pantanol eye drops. She is still a little congested but no where near what it was.

School ended and now I have time to start getting this house together. There are boxes and stuff piled in the living room. We have no furniture for there so it became a catchall. Unfortunately seeing it all the time overwhelmes me and here I sit typing. So many life shanges really made this a tough year.

My broken record

Things are basically the same as they were last post. My pastor said this morning in church that one thing needed to find peace of mind is letting past mistakes go. I feel like this is an area that I am having difficulty with. I figure that I messed up last week so I am doomed and when I mess up again it is to be expected. I do this with more than eating. I mean why get off the couch or do my work... See a pattern. I think that all this negative thinking is really making my depressed. The sermon talked a lot more about finding peace of mind. I really took a lot away although I am not able to quote it. More of a feeling that I left with. One of hope. So I deleted all of my previous weight history on the blog and we are going to move forward from here.

On the home front...we have a contract on our townhouse. We have completed home inspections on both homes. There are a few repairs for this one. I am calling repair people tomorrow to move that along. There was less that I anticipated. I guess I am harder on things than the inspector. After repairs are complete, we have home appraisals and then we are good to go. At this point settlement looks like it will be May 26 in the evening. I have mixed emotions. I am excited on one hand and nervous on the other. I think it will be easier to clean and manage a bigger house since things will not be a crammed or cluttered. I am nervous about the payment but I have to have something to worry about.

My little baby has grown so much. She is crawling everywhere and is such a delight. I want to get moving myself so I can keep up with her and play a little easier. I get tired now and that needs to change.

It's been a long time

Well here I am at 4am. I start anew again today for the 100th time. I feel like I do this every week. It only lasts a few days and then I fall apart. I am eating to handle any emotion. The key there is any. I used to smoke and now I eat. The weight just keeps climbing and I am bigger than I have ever been. I am so unhappy that I have to do something.

Since I was here last there have been a couple developments. We are buying a new house. We put a contract on a wonderful home with a lot of room. We must have ours on the market by Wednesday. We have spent the better part of the last 4 or 5 days packing up clutter and moving it to storage. We cleaned, patched, and generally made the house show ready. Our realtor comes tomorrow to take pictures. This is probably why I am up at 4 in the morning unable to sleep.

What does this have to do with weight loss? Well for one I have been stressed and busy so we ate out just about every evening during this house buying/preparing time. Second, our mortgage will be almost $1000 more and I won't be able to afford to eat. I cannot binge eat or go out to eat nearly as much. I am going to have to plan my meals carefully and grocery shop carefully so I can manage our money.

I feel like I am saying all this over and over every few days on this blog. I know when I quit smoking it took many tries. 100th time is the charm. I just need to recall a story from church this morning. A woman sees an old man on the front porch of his home and he looked so happy. She went to him and asked why he was so happy and what was his secret. He said, "I smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day, drink a gallon of whiskey a week, eat fast food and doritos for every meal, and I never exercise." She was amazed and asked him how old he was. He responded "26." The moral of the story happiness can not come from these things alone and needs to be found elsewhere.