Things are basically the same as they were last post. My pastor said this morning in church that one thing needed to find peace of mind is letting past mistakes go. I feel like this is an area that I am having difficulty with. I figure that I messed up last week so I am doomed and when I mess up again it is to be expected. I do this with more than eating. I mean why get off the couch or do my work... See a pattern. I think that all this negative thinking is really making my depressed. The sermon talked a lot more about finding peace of mind. I really took a lot away although I am not able to quote it. More of a feeling that I left with. One of hope. So I deleted all of my previous weight history on the blog and we are going to move forward from here.
On the home front...we have a contract on our townhouse. We have completed home inspections on both homes. There are a few repairs for this one. I am calling repair people tomorrow to move that along. There was less that I anticipated. I guess I am harder on things than the inspector. After repairs are complete, we have home appraisals and then we are good to go. At this point settlement looks like it will be May 26 in the evening. I have mixed emotions. I am excited on one hand and nervous on the other. I think it will be easier to clean and manage a bigger house since things will not be a crammed or cluttered. I am nervous about the payment but I have to have something to worry about.
My little baby has grown so much. She is crawling everywhere and is such a delight. I want to get moving myself so I can keep up with her and play a little easier. I get tired now and that needs to change.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
It's been a long time
Well here I am at 4am. I start anew again today for the 100th time. I feel like I do this every week. It only lasts a few days and then I fall apart. I am eating to handle any emotion. The key there is any. I used to smoke and now I eat. The weight just keeps climbing and I am bigger than I have ever been. I am so unhappy that I have to do something.
Since I was here last there have been a couple developments. We are buying a new house. We put a contract on a wonderful home with a lot of room. We must have ours on the market by Wednesday. We have spent the better part of the last 4 or 5 days packing up clutter and moving it to storage. We cleaned, patched, and generally made the house show ready. Our realtor comes tomorrow to take pictures. This is probably why I am up at 4 in the morning unable to sleep.
What does this have to do with weight loss? Well for one I have been stressed and busy so we ate out just about every evening during this house buying/preparing time. Second, our mortgage will be almost $1000 more and I won't be able to afford to eat. I cannot binge eat or go out to eat nearly as much. I am going to have to plan my meals carefully and grocery shop carefully so I can manage our money.
I feel like I am saying all this over and over every few days on this blog. I know when I quit smoking it took many tries. 100th time is the charm. I just need to recall a story from church this morning. A woman sees an old man on the front porch of his home and he looked so happy. She went to him and asked why he was so happy and what was his secret. He said, "I smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day, drink a gallon of whiskey a week, eat fast food and doritos for every meal, and I never exercise." She was amazed and asked him how old he was. He responded "26." The moral of the story happiness can not come from these things alone and needs to be found elsewhere.
Since I was here last there have been a couple developments. We are buying a new house. We put a contract on a wonderful home with a lot of room. We must have ours on the market by Wednesday. We have spent the better part of the last 4 or 5 days packing up clutter and moving it to storage. We cleaned, patched, and generally made the house show ready. Our realtor comes tomorrow to take pictures. This is probably why I am up at 4 in the morning unable to sleep.
What does this have to do with weight loss? Well for one I have been stressed and busy so we ate out just about every evening during this house buying/preparing time. Second, our mortgage will be almost $1000 more and I won't be able to afford to eat. I cannot binge eat or go out to eat nearly as much. I am going to have to plan my meals carefully and grocery shop carefully so I can manage our money.
I feel like I am saying all this over and over every few days on this blog. I know when I quit smoking it took many tries. 100th time is the charm. I just need to recall a story from church this morning. A woman sees an old man on the front porch of his home and he looked so happy. She went to him and asked why he was so happy and what was his secret. He said, "I smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day, drink a gallon of whiskey a week, eat fast food and doritos for every meal, and I never exercise." She was amazed and asked him how old he was. He responded "26." The moral of the story happiness can not come from these things alone and needs to be found elsewhere.
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