It's been a long time

Well here I am at 4am. I start anew again today for the 100th time. I feel like I do this every week. It only lasts a few days and then I fall apart. I am eating to handle any emotion. The key there is any. I used to smoke and now I eat. The weight just keeps climbing and I am bigger than I have ever been. I am so unhappy that I have to do something.

Since I was here last there have been a couple developments. We are buying a new house. We put a contract on a wonderful home with a lot of room. We must have ours on the market by Wednesday. We have spent the better part of the last 4 or 5 days packing up clutter and moving it to storage. We cleaned, patched, and generally made the house show ready. Our realtor comes tomorrow to take pictures. This is probably why I am up at 4 in the morning unable to sleep.

What does this have to do with weight loss? Well for one I have been stressed and busy so we ate out just about every evening during this house buying/preparing time. Second, our mortgage will be almost $1000 more and I won't be able to afford to eat. I cannot binge eat or go out to eat nearly as much. I am going to have to plan my meals carefully and grocery shop carefully so I can manage our money.

I feel like I am saying all this over and over every few days on this blog. I know when I quit smoking it took many tries. 100th time is the charm. I just need to recall a story from church this morning. A woman sees an old man on the front porch of his home and he looked so happy. She went to him and asked why he was so happy and what was his secret. He said, "I smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day, drink a gallon of whiskey a week, eat fast food and doritos for every meal, and I never exercise." She was amazed and asked him how old he was. He responded "26." The moral of the story happiness can not come from these things alone and needs to be found elsewhere.